I’m being mocked by my bathroom extractor fan. Last night it kept me awake for a full twenty minutes while it held its own private rave without the slightest bit of concern for the fact that I had to be up for work in less than six hours. To be fair it is my own fault for switching the light on in the first place, but I have my reasons. Namely the fact that my sickly rose scented candle that had been illuminating my late-night toilet visits for the last week had burned away to nothing and I didn’t fancy wetting my toes with an aimless release. At the moment it’s kicking out the most amazing noise imaginable, think of a tractor slowly trudging it’s way across a sea of percussion instruments, only it’s actually performed by the choir/orchestra abomination that sound-tracked those Honda adverts where with only their mouths they made the noise of a revving engine, or a windscreen wiper or Chinese water torture.
This morning while I was minding my own business having a shave it took things to a whole new level, it actually 'treated' me an eerily accurate rendition of ‘Rockafella Skank’ by FatBoy Slim – note perfect. Okay, it was only the middle bit where the whole thing slows down and goes "Fuuuuuuunnnnnk Sooooooouul Brrrrrrrooothhhheeeeer!" but it was creepy, and wildly impressive all the same. It was mocking me, and I know why. Two weeks ago after a predictably cat-fight and tear-filled night out I officially retired from attending nightclubs. I just can’t do it anymore, I can’t justify putting myself through the whole torrid experience and nor do I see the point. I’ve never honestly enjoyed frequenting such establishments in the first place, bar for a bizarre six week period a couple of years ago when I tried my hardest to really enjoy myself…and failed miserably. Now I can officially reveal that it’s over, I’m through, I’m too old. At 23 you might think that’s a sad indictment on me as a person but, you’d be wrong, it’s actually a sad indictment on society as a whole, the culture that encapsulates nightclubs and the people that partake in it.
As tomorrow is the day of the Wales Vs England match, Valentines Day has officially been moved forward to today for everyone who calls Wales home. Therefore I get even more of an excuse to rant at what has to be the single most pretentious, detestable date on the whole bloody calendar. I actually couldn’t think of a day to hate quite as much even if I was given free reign to crate a rival – World-Wide Bono Appreciation Day might only manage to draw level, and only on the years it fell on a weekend. What’s more depressing is that even Hollywood Studios have given up entirely in attempting to produce a decent romantic movie for the occasion. The best they can come up with this year is the wonderfully titled She’s Just Not That Into You which from name alone gives you the impression that it’s not going to be the happy love-fest you need on a day when 90% of the population is screaming for a distraction from the fact that their spending the day, and possibly the rest of their lives with someone they pretty much cant stand. I mean last year’s best offerings were P.S I Love You where, and correct me if I’m wrong, but the main love interest was dead from the opening credits, or Definitely Maybe a horribly average film which only worked to focus Hollywood’s inability to produce a genuinely quality romance by the fact that movie critics everywhere swooned over it like a homeless puppy. One laughably even compared it to the works of Woody Allen – Bollocks! Until Hollywood and all its 'talent' remembers what a romantic movie should be, I’ll be at home watching Casablanca on DVD and reminding myself exactly what they should be like, and that’s actually perfectly fine by me.
A.J.
Friday, 13 February 2009
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Best Albums of 2008 (GRW)
(Disclaimer: These are my personal recommendations and in no way represent the views of other members of this blog, otherwise there’d be Coldplay records.
Also, I am cracked up on Benylin & Paracetamols due to illness, hopefully going some way to explain why Auto-tune rappers are over-represented)
Also, I am cracked up on Benylin & Paracetamols due to illness, hopefully going some way to explain why Auto-tune rappers are over-represented)
The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
Craig Finn and his troupe of weathered rock’n’rollers go even further along their quest to revive the “Unified Scene”. Abandoning Charlemagne, Holly & Gideon for new, unnamed but universal characters might not be an universally popular decision (me included), but will no doubt broaden the appeal of the band even more. As if they’re not appealing enough already - possessing the ability to be everything to everyone, be it bar-room rock ‘n roll to some and highly literate indie rock to others. Also, double-plus points for gang vocals and a Dillinger Four reference on track one “Constructive Summer”. Immense.
Fucked Up - The Chemistry of Common Life
Tons of hype surrounding F’ed Up, from the usual culprits (Pitchfork, NME), but that shouldn’t put anyone off this force of nature. Much is made of the intra-band conflict and other nonsense (including Pink Eyes & 10,000 Marbles’ rival blogs), and to be honest the clash of hardcore vox with massively layered guitars and prog-ish song structures shouldn’t work. But it does, see “No Epiphany” for evidence. Of course, this is coming from someone with an aversion to songs that go past 3 minutes.
Dillinger Four - C I V I L W A R
The second band from the Twin Cities on this list (see above), I’ve got to admit I’m a latecomer to the D4 party. I had always dismissed them as a second rate Fat Wreck punk-by-numbers band. Oops. Their previous records are on the whole slightly rawer and more unforgiving than this one, which seems to have acquired a poppier edge due to its 6 year gestation time. The drawback of the new-ish direction being fewer songs featuring the booze-addled gruff vox of bassist Paddy Costello (owner of the famous Triple Rock), though he does pop up on some crackers such as “Parishiltonisametaphor”. Grown-up pop punk at its best.
Gaslight Anthem – The ’59 Sound
One of the biggest successes of last year, the Anthem are the latest punk rock kids to bring in influences outside of the usual box – there isn’t a 1977 year-zero for them. You could call it Springsteencore, with the hints of The Boss’ tales of blue-collar heartbreak & struggle all over this record (including some direct references). However, the “-core” suffix couldn’t be a worse representation of the ’59 Sound – the ‘Anthem have toned down the breakneck punk of their first record for a slower more considered sound, which pays off spectacularly on stand-out tunes such as “Miles Davis & The Cool”.
The Bronx - The Bronx III
Matt Caughthran and the boys are not complicated men. They know what you want, and they give it to you – badass hardcore-influenced punk rock. More of the same, maybe – but when the same is this good, who’s can have an issue with that? Plus, there aren’t any ballads this time (or what I’d personally dub ballads – basically mid-tempo songs over 3:30). Next time – El Bronx and the mariachi record everyone’s been waiting for.
Kanye West – 808s & Heartbreak
A divisive album certainly – like Marmite, or Dirk Kuyt. Kanye’s “pop-art” (his words) experiment has no
rapping and consists basically of an 808 drum machine, and an Auto-tune enhanced Mr.West crooning over the top. Personally, I think it works – particularly on current single “Heartless” and emo-tastic closer “Coldest Winter”. We should be thankful - another standard Kanye LP could have involved more Coldplay collaborations. And I’d rather listen to Kanye farting the entire Disney back-catalogue through an Autotune machine than that.
Neon Neon – Stainless Style
We all knew Gruff Rhys wasn’t all there, with his track record of awesome but insane albums, including his most recent dalliances with a paper animal from the Kingdom of Candy. His latest sonic adventure, alongside producer Boom Bip, recounts the life of John Delorean, creator of the iconic car of Back to The Future fame and legendary coke fiend, with help from various collaborators including hipster rappers Spank Rock & Yo Majesty. Some tracks aren’t quite there (“Sweat Shop”) but most of them are 80s-style synth bangers, such as the Star Wars-sized chorus of “I Told Her On Alderaan”.
Paint It Black – The New Lexicon
Latest release from melodic hardcore overlord Dan Yemin (of Lifetime and Kid Dynamite fame) featuring production by noise-hop group Dälek. The unsettling layer of electronic noise ever present between the 2 minute bursts of hardcore combine with Yemin’s alternative hip-hop influenced flow to produce a modern hardcore punk album that if not groundbreaking, is definitely cutting edge.
Lil’ Wayne – Tha Carter III
“It ain’t trickin’ if you got it…” Wayne got it – you know that already.
Problem is he also thinks he also gots it on guitar…look out for next year’s rock record. No doubt aided by the sketchy Auto-Tune enhanced howl.
The Loved Ones – Build & Burn
Some more of that Blue-collar influenced punk which seems to be in vogue recently, and indeed the second Fat Wreck band on this list. Songs such as “Sarah’s Game” and “The Bridge” hark back to the more conventional (but awesome) pop-punk of their first record, but sit neatly next to the ol' times chain-gang songs such as “Louisiana”. I'm also a fan of how they keep using "Keep your Heart" as a motif in a few songs, 'cos that shit's cool.
Honourable mentions: Vampire Weekend – S/T; Los Campesinos - We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed; Polar Bear Club - Sometimes Things Just Disappear; Cancer Bats – Hail Destroyer.
Records I listened to in 2008 a lot but were out in 2007: A Wilhelm Scream – Career Suicide; New Wave by Against Me!; The Gaslight Anthem - Sink or Swim
G.R.W
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
One every, well not often enough comes along a film which excites you beyond comprehension. This happens more so with high octane blockbusters because, well that’s what promotional campaigns and trailers are intended to do, but very rarely does this occur with smaller genre films. For example as a huge Batman fan it’s fair to say that The Dark Knight had me frothing at the mouth for a good two years before I eventually laid eyes on the gorgeous little beauty in its entirety. For a certain few million the same case could be made for the Transformers movie, and well, to be honest my growing anticipation for Watchmen gets me a tad more rigid with every new poster and T.V spot (too much information?) Anyway back to the point in hand, I cannot remember the last time that I was so damn excited about seeing what’s essentially a drama since…possibly American Beauty which was a full decade ago.
‘Benjamin Button’ is startling in every conceivable way, the script is hypnotising in the way that Eric Roth has crafted a near three hour epic from what was originally a short story and manages to keep you spellbound for the entire running time which flashes by in a heartbeat – never at any stage does it feel like grind or anything close to it. The script is also wonderfully well balanced in the way it tells the sweeping grandiose fairy-tale and wrangles every last bit of emotion out of it and you, from the chokingly touching to the surprisingly, delicate comedy littered throughout.
Visually it’s in an absolute treat if a sedate one, it never dazzles you with anything bordering on stunning, but then it doesn’t need to with such a brilliantly told central story to carry it. David Fincher has done a masterful job without ever needing to tread into flamboyant territory. He has always been a director of awe-inspiring brilliance it just seems it’s taken this film to prove it to the masses -the film simply sparkles like a diamond through the murky waters of his past work. When Panic Room was released it always seemed like a compromise, a straight-forward techno-thriller designed to please a straight-forward mainstream audience, and more importantly the studio. Yet as well-crafted as it was its evident that the success came at the expense of the grimy, unsettling genius that created Seven, Fight Club and (the cruelly under-rated) The Game and set the free on an unsuspecting cinema audience. Fincher has long been considered by his fans to be amongst the very best directors working today and it seems that with ‘Benjamin Button’ he decided to prove it to the rest of the world. From its very inception it seemed like an odd career choice for Fincher yet what’s more baffling is the idea that a David Fincher film has just been nominated for 13 Oscars, but Christ on a bike, does it deserve each an every one.
In some senses it’s clear to see why the comparisons to Forrest Gump have been made yet that does a great disservice to ‘Benjamin Button’. Yes it is a film of immense scope that travels through and past several historical events on its way but, it navigates its complex time-frame with a far more delicate touch than Robert Zemeckis’ film. Ground-breaking events are nothing more than side-notes to the incredible central story of the incredible central character; Fincher brilliantly handles them as subtle nuances interwoven into the tapestry of the epic tale. World War II id dealt with within not much more than a single scene and is still touchingly personal to the protagonist while the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it reference to the Moon Landing is one of the beautiful lasting memories of the whole film.
Watching the film feels like the sort of comforting experience that is garnered from watching a favoured, childhood movie. Even though it’s your first viewing, it feels like you’re watching it for the umpteenth time and gave me the same warm sensation as a screening of The Goonies or Bugsy Malone would – if they released the film on VHS it would come already worn out. More importantly it feels like a classic movie, both in scope and in style which is something that Hollywood no-longer produces enough of. It feels like its come from a time when the ‘Silver Screen’ still existed. When playing cards actually involved card, not simply wiggling a computer mouse. When tobacco didn’t kill you, or at least you didn’t accept that it would. It’s the movie equivalent of curling up under a blanket with someone you love, in your pyjamas, in front of an open fire, with a bottle of wine, Red and with a box of chocolates – which is exactly how it should be viewed when it arrives on DVD.
* * * * * Those be Five Stars!
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